I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me
by A-Soul-Among-The-Others
Summary: The war is finished and the Soul Society won. A year passed since then and they can all finally live happily and peacefully... They, but him. ONE-SHOT. WARNING : DARK, DEATH


Hello ! This OS is dark, and it is, most of it, Uryu's POV. I don't have anything else to say x3 Feel free to review.

Summary : The war is finished and the Soul Society won. A year passed since then, they can all finally live happily and peacefully... They, but him. (warning : dark,death)

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><p><strong>I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me ...<strong>

It has been a year.

A year since the war ended.

The shinigamis won.

Ichigo won against Aizen.

Some shinigamis died and all espadas died.

Gin was forgiven and he rebecame a captain.

The humans, Ichigo, Orihime, Uryu, Sado, Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro, returned in the world of the living.

Renji and Rukia became a couple, without any protests from Byakuya.

Ichigo and Orihime did as well. She was too scared of loosing him, so she confessed and her feelings were shared.

Gin and Rangiku formed a couple too.

All squads were happy with the peace, even with the losts.

Yamamoto accepted Ichigo as a shinigami as strong as him.

Everything became peaceful in the Soul Society.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

It has been a year since they were finally having a happy peaceful life.

They, except him, Uryu.

His life was peaceful, but not happy.

It has been a year since he's dying a little more everyday.

A year since he became colder than usual.

A year since he stayed at home everyday.

**xXxXx**

At first, his friends thought that he was just affected by the war, but after three months of isolation, they realized it was something else.

Even though they'd ask him, he would just say it is nothing and make them go away

. Ichigo was really persistent, but Uryu would tell even less to him.

He was brute and colder with him.

Orihime tried to talk to him, but he always kept silent.

Everyone tried, even Isshin, but no one was able to make him talk.

He looked, and was, so depressed. No one could find out what was wrong !

One day, Orihime had had enough of it.

She went to see him and she won't come back until she knew what was wrong.

Everyone tried but gave up, she won't.

The auburn-haired girl gave him time, but nothing happened.

Knock Knock Knock

Uryu's father came to answer.

He knew why Orihime was there, she had called him this morning.

He accompanied her to the door of his son's room.

He left then.

**Knock Knock Knock**

No one answered, obviously. She found the door unlocked, tough.

The room was dark and cold. The young woman went to the stores and opened them.

- _Close them._

She heard, but just ignored it,

Orihime just sat beside her friend's body lied on his bed.

She looked at Uryu and he was scary.

His skin was pale before, but now it is even whiter than white.

His hair were covering his eyes and were black now, due to the always black room.

His face was thin before, but now it is skinny.

Uryu wore black pants with a white long-sleeved top unbuttoned.

His torso was really skinny and every rib could be seen clearly.

He was scary.

Orihime stepped on something and looked on the floor to see what it was.

A knife with blood.

It was a knife covered in blood.

Slowly her eyes went up to his hands.

There was blood.

There was blood on the bed.

As she understood what happened, she rolled up his sleeve, to see scars.

Orihime gasped at this sight.

Uryu's eyes closed, in shame as he made her let go of his arm.

He put back his sleeve.

- _Why ... ?_

She just couldn't understand why he would do that.

- _Because it makes me remember that I am still a weak human._

She had tears in her eyes.

- _You are NOT weak !_

- _I am. I kept isolating myself just not to see it. I kept lying in my room, hoping not to see it happen again. But this makes me remember that it will never change. I will always remain alone._

Tears dropped of her eyes. It pained her to see her friend like this, without even understanding why.

- _You are not alone, Ishida-kun. You have your friends ! I am your friend and it hurts me to see you like this. I'll never let you down. You're my friend and I won't let you be like this. I will help you._

- _You can't. No one can. Not even me._

- _Stop saying that, it hurts me to hear these words from you._

-_ I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me._

-_ Just explain me why you are this pained. I won't judge you. You'll still be my friend. It will change nothing in our friendship._

-_ It will change everything._

- _Just tell me..._

-_ You will not like what I'll say._

- _I don't mind, tell me._

-_ I love you. Since I first talked to you. We can never be together because I know you dearly love Kurosaki. We all know you are soul mates. I didn't want to see you because it hurt so much. Even the wounds on my arms were less painful than that. It was like stabbing through my heart, without killing. I don't know how come I am still alive. My life is meanless and I don't even know why I keep eating._

-_ Don't say such things. You need to live ! We all miss you and we want you back !_

- _Nothing will ever be like before again, and you perfectly know it. You are with child, His child. It would be way too painful to see you two happily living with the result of your love. You two are the only ones that need to live. People are depending of you. Without Him, worlds are endangered. Without you, this being can't survive._

He finished in putting his shaky hand on her little rounded stomach.

Uryu received a little kick almost immediately.

And smile saddly.

-_ Ishida-kun, no matter what, I never want to loose you._

Orihime replied while putting her warm and soft hand on his skinny and cold one.

-_ You lived a year without me, you'll live the rest of your life without me without any problem._

- _This baby will need a godfather, don't you think ?_

- _That's why Renji will be the godfather. And Kuchiki-san the godmother as well as Arisawa-san._

-_ No. I want you to be the godfather._

-_ I won't live this long. Just go away, please. It hurts me more than you can ever know ! Get all out of my life and forget me ! I never existed to you, ok ! I am nothing to you. You never met me, nor I've met you all._

Uryu almost yelled, helplessly trying to ease the pain.

Orihime was crying silent tears.

Then, Ichigo entered the room.

- _No, Ishida. We'll never forget you. You'll stay with us and get out of your room._

-_ I will, as you say._

Uryu answered way too calmly.

He stood up and grasped something on the floor.

Orihime saw what.

- _No !_

- _I will go to hell._

- _Stop please !_

She screamed and cried even more while Uryu cut both his wrists with the knife.

-_ Ishida !_

Ichigo screamed and caught the body of his friend in his fall to the floor.

-_ I-I'll get his father !_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Uryu woke up. He opened his eyes and all he saw was white.

- Finally you're awake.

-_ I can't have the fucking peace... Just lemme fucking die._

He removed everything connected to him, and he managed to do it with the protests of his auburn-haired friend.

**-_ Loving you was suicide..._**

He whispered and closed his eyes, to never open them again.


End file.
